As an eighteen year old, I have a lot of people weighing in on what they think I should do/be in the future. “Oh, you have your degree already? Well you should go for a Masters now!” or alternatively, with a fake smile that says this-girl’s-lost-her-marbles-the-poor-thing, “Oh you mean your associates degree?” Those are the two most frequent that I hear.
Something else I’ve seen and heard has bothered me even more, though. It’s the idea that someday I’m going to have to grow up and stop being the book-inhaling, obsessively blogging, sometimes-immature fangirl that I am. That one day it won’t be acceptable to have a borderline-obsessive relationship with Sherlock, Supernatural, Harry Potter, and any other movie/show/book that I get my hands on. Of course I’m more than that, but it makes up a big part of who I am. Ask anyone, and they’ll tell you that I talk the most when it’s about one of those three things. I’m usually pretty quiet, but the trick is to get me to shut up when I get on a tangent.
So here’s my question: Why should I have to give up my passion? Is there some sort of unspoken age where I have to delete my tumblr account, sell all my books, cancel Netflix, and begin reading the newspaper while watching the news? Is this some sort of rite of passage I don’t know about? If so, I don’t like it, and refuse to participate.
It’s the concept that all of these hobbies and passions are somehow less than ideal for a successful, actualized adult. There was one situation a while ago where I started talking to someone, and found out that they liked Supernatural, but apparently not as much as I do. I yammered his ear off, getting into deep analysis and symbolism and whatnot (because I thought I had found one of my people). His response? “That’s weird.” I never heard from him again.
Maybe I’m alone in this, or maybe I just don’t know the right people, but the above is pretty much the reason why I keep my hobbies to myself. I don’t ever want to lose this part of who I am. People have told me that guys won’t appreciate the oddities of Kayla, and that I’ll be very lucky if I find someone who’s just as into this stuff as I am, but that I might have to compromise. Which I’m fine with – but there’s a difference between compromise and self-sacrifice.
And you know what I’ve decided? It’s better to stay a child and be a lonely virgin for the rest of my life than to stop everything that gives me purpose and passion in life.