Don’t you just love that title? Heck yes you do. You know you do 😉 Anyhoo… I was doing some thinking, and since I’m ghost-posting here by scheduling a week in advance and I’m probably driving down the mountain right now, I figured I’d have a bit of pointless fun.
I’ve noticed that since I started blogging, I’ve had to be a bit more expansive in my vocabulary. As much as I love fangirling and squealing, that doesn’t translate too well onto a blog post, unless I flood with gifs and frankly that can be a bit overwhelming sometimes to find that just right and perfectly encapsulating my emotions gif. Thus, I’ve had to work really hard at actually articulating my opinion and putting full sentences into my reviews so everyone can at least half-understand what I felt when reading a certain book.
And thus, the Oddball Terms were born. Sometimes I can’t use real words, because either I 1) don’t have a masterful enough grasp of the English language to find that perfect word with its flawless connotation and denotation, or 2) Don’t think a real word sufficiently satisfies me. Creating words is a big thing in my house, okay? So without further adieu, allow me to fill you in on a few words I think I’ll start using more frequently so I don’t take up an entire paragraph trying to explain myself.
1) Bubble Heart.
Part of speech: noun (medical condition). Example of use: “This book is so adorbs omg I have bubble heart.”
Definition: Similar to butterfly stomach, this is the feeling wherein it seems as if someone has plugged your chest with a helium tube and started pumping air straight into your atria and ventricles. Next thing you know, you’ll be floating away like you’re the next house in Up. Frequent symptoms include: squeeing, happy tears, flapping hands, incoherent sentences mostly filled with “awwwwwww”, and general fuzziness in extremities. Known culprits include: Anna and the French Kiss, most Sarah Dessen books, Sia.
Part of speech: noun (state of being). Example of use: “They’re three dimensional, like a prism.
Definition: A male character that is extraordinarily multi-faceted and complex. You think you have him pinned down, but the next chapter brings a whole new set of actions and expressions that sets you in a different direction. He is the color emitted from a prism in the light: turn the prism, and you find a different shade. Examples include: Nikolai (Siege and Storm), Raffe (Angelfall), Knox (Pawn).
Definition: The female version of the prism differs from the male in that the female exhibits a stronger personality than usual FMCs, yet retains her femininity and softness. She knows how to wield a blade (or laser or gun) and take care of herself and her loved ones without being the damsel in distress. On the flip side, she can also be a woman – soft and loving and motherly, and willing to show emotion. The prism girl defies gender norms perpetuated in YA literature: she is neither butch and emotionless, nor is she frail and always in need of saving.
3) Douche Waffle
Part of speech: noun (character trait). Example of use: “Warner is such douche waffle I just want to stab him. Repeatedly.”
Definition: This is a stage beyond full douche-bag. This is the waffle stage. If you have reached the waffle stage, you are incurably infected with douche-bag syndrome. Frequently used for male characters, these men have reached such high levels of douche-baggery that they need an entire class of their own. Usually unredeemable, though for some reason still manage to rope girls in with their roguish good looks. Notable examples: Warner (Shatter Me), Benji (Pawn).
4) The he-doesn’t-look-like-he’s-nice but really-he’s-the-best-character-in-the-book Boy
Part of speech: noun (state of being). Example of use: “He’ll never make anything of himself,” “He doesn’t care for anyone but himself,” “He’s such a bad boy – girl you better stay away before you get burned.”
Definition: Similar to the douche-waffle, but using his talents for the purpose of good instead of evil, this boy frequently charms with roguish grins, sharp wit, ceaseless snark, and a heart of gold buried underneath it all. He is usually co-morbid with the Prism Boy, as their personalities lie closely to one another. At first presented as the dangerous one, or the stock douche-waffle, this character will always surprise with actions that bely his words. He puts on a rough front, but underneath it all he’s the softest of them all. Examples include: Nikolai (Siege and Storm), Kenji (Shatter Me), Raffe (Angelfall), The Weasley Twins (Harry Potter), Isaiah (Crash Into You).
Author’s Note: If you can’t tell, these are my favorite characters in the entire world.
5) Ovary Slayer
Part of speech: noun (occupation). Example of use: “Damn that Tom Hiddleston he’s such an ovary slayer.”
Definition: Adapted from the various forms of this term found on popular blogging site Tumblr, an ovary slayer is a man who completely obliterates all female inhibitions through his personality, appearance, and actions. The OS is a chameleon in literature, movies, and television, as each woman’s ovaries are slaughtered by their personal preference in men. The OS is the man that leaves a puddle of melted female in his wake, and can charm the pants off anyone he so pleases.
6) Advanced Book Hangover
Part of speech: noun (medical condition). Example of use: “This is way past book hangover: I’ve reached Advanced Hangover.”
Definition: ABH is to book hangover as pneumonia is to the common cold. A very advanced stage of this illness, ABH leaves the sufferer curled into the fetal position for several hours, unable to do anything. TV, food, another book, social interaction: nothing holds appeal to the victim in this state. There is no cure but time. With each book, it differs, but possible duration of illness spans from one day to several weeks. As one writer says, “[ABH is] being so lost in one world that you can’t find your way back to reality.”
7) Pre-Book Hangover
Part of speech: noun (medical condition). Example of use: “I’m so afraid of that book I have pre-reading hangover.”
Definition: This is the book that wields such devastating emotional power that it causes readers to cower in fear even before opening the first page. Whether by word of mouth, previously seen movie adaptations that caused emotional trauma, or warnings by friends, these are the Horcruxes of the hangover stages: they are no longer just pages and spines, but living breathing monsters waiting to rope you in and slaughter with feels. Frequently this type of hangover results in long delays before the reader plucks up their courage to read past the first chapter.
Author’s note: Allegiant is the most recent of these, with another notable case being The Fault in Our Stars.
Well, that’s all for today! Have you ever experienced any of these syndromes, or met characters like these? Share your stories below, as well as any other strange words you’ve found yourself using lately!