A few weeks ago, I reviewed A Girl Called Fearless by Catherine Linka, and mentioned the fact that I finished the last 25% while eating dinner at Chipotle, and may or may not have been quite expressive while I read the book.
And by that I mean I probably scared away any possible friends and/or male suitors attempting to get my attention.
This got me to thinking: what other faces have I made while I read in public? And so I head down a very dark and dangerous path… into the nine levels of The Faces I Make Involuntarily Due To My Attachment and/or Investment In My Books.
1) The “WTF” face
We’ve all done it – don’t lie. You know those books that just make you go, “what in the world am I reading??”
2) The “oh my god my heart is bursting with sunshine” face
This is joy in its purest, unmitigated form. Usually seen after your OTP finally admits their love for each other, or your BROTP has a bonding moment.
3) The “I am so disappointed right now” face
That book promised to be so amazing – the greatest you will ever read. And then WHAM it falls so low in your esteem that you have to find the energy to finish it.
4) The “I’m trying not to laugh but this is hilarious” face
Conceal it. Don’t feel it. Don’t let it show. Don’t let them knooowwwwww… YOU’RE A FREAK, YOU’RE A FREAK, YOU’RE A BOOK-ADORING FREEAAAKKKK (I already knew that anyway)
5) The “oh NO they di’in’t” face
You’re completely stunned. HOW did that happen? WHAT just happened?? *furiously read the last three pages to make sure you got it right*
6) The “YES IT HAPPENED RIGHT THANK YOU BOOK GODS” face
Your ship just sailed, the best friends got back together, the plot is tied up, and you got your HEA (as well as it can be in the circumstances). Life is GOOD.
7) The “I don’t want to finish this but it’s an ARC and I don’t want to be a horrible person” face
THE STRUGGLE IS REAL. Do you slog through 100 more pages of whatever-this-is-I’m-not-sure-it’s-even-edited or do you commit a faux pas and DNF an ARC?
8) The “I guessed every plot point I AM GOD” face
Petty mortals… Did they think they could slip that foreshadowing past ME??
9) The “damn it I’m going to read what I want to read and NO ONE will say otherwise” face
A reaction to #7, and also to those who try to guilt you out of reading some books. ENJOY TWILIGHT IF THAT’S WHAT YOU PLEASE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GUILTY PLEASURE BECAUSE YOU SHOULD NOT BE ASHAMED ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE. Unless it’s illegal.
BONUS 10) The “I’m dying from second-hand embarrassment” face
You feel the shame oozing from your pores as if you’ve just committed the heinous act alongside your character. People could think you’re reading 50 Shades of Gray for how much blushing you’re doing.